Larry Miller

For reasons impossible to understand, Utahns like Larry Miller. The guy owns sports teams, restaurants, shopping, and too many car dealerships across the Wasatch Front. One might be tempted to believe that Utahns don't like him, and that they simply can't avoid doing business with the guy, sort of like Utahns can't avoid purchasing Chinese crap at Wal-Mart.

However that's not the case. Utahns can purchase cars, movie tickets, meals, and other goods and services from other providers -- Larry hasn't locked the state down yet -- but the fact that his businesses persist and expand tells me that Utahns actually *LIKE* doing business with the guy.

This is confusing. Most Utahns agree that:

• His car dealerships try to rip you off
• His movie theaters suck
• His basketball team sucks
• His restaurants suck

Why do Utahns patronize this sheister? Perhaps due to some commonly-held misconceptions:

Myth: Larry is a local Utahn, and Utahns should support Utah businesses.
Fact: Larry is from Colorado and opened his first car dealership there.
Myth: Larry represents Utah values.
Fact: Larry cares about the almighty dollar and doesn't care who he has to screw to get it.

Or perhaps because Utahns are ignorant (correctly pronounced "ignernt").